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February 24, 2005
Lamenting me
So, yesterday as I was bitching/whining/moaning/complaining about how stupid/incompetent/fraud-like I was, Scott made a comment to me that made me quite unhappy (I don't take criticism very well). He said, "You are the one person I have met that spends SO much time coming up with reasons of how you are incompetent/retarded/etc you are. Why do you waste your time on this?" Of course, I replied, quite defensively, that I had nothing else better to do (don't tell my advisors that). I would say that it's only b/c I am having minor freakouts about certain non-existent opportunities, but yeah, it's circumstanial.
Now this would be good and all, except last night, before I went to bed, I started thinking of why I would be a terrible MOTHER. Of all things to start worrying about, I started worrying about how I was going to rear children that would be mentally unstable. You see, I've been recently reading books on the poor and cancer victims. In both cases, the parenting styles made a huge difference in the lives of the subjects in the books. In most cases, it came right down to, "My mom was like this and that is why I felt like this" or something like that. And in every one of those instances, I could see myself doing whatever horrendous thing that made the kid emotionally unhinged. So, as I went to bed (and when I woke up this morning), all I could think about was how incompetent of a mother I was going to be. And am still thinking about it (obviously) as I write this.
Maybe Scott was right.
Heh.
Posted by szujin at 09:29 AM | Comments (0)
February 20, 2005
Cookies
Today, I decided to bake some butterscotch oatmeal cookies. Cookies are something that I don't usually screw up.
But today was a slightly different day. I have been feeling fat (it's a female thing) recently. Volleyball games now interfere with my Sunday step class, and b/c of some retarded knee problems (why oh why), I've had to decrease the number of risers I use for step(poop). So not only have I been working out less, but I have been working out less strenuously.
So. Conclusion: I feel fat. Anyway. As I start the cookie making process, I realize that I am putting in TWO sticks of butter into my mix. TWO. See, I haven't made cookies in a long time, and I usually halve the recipe (= 1 stick), so this large amount of LARD doesn't usually shock me. But b/c I've been feeling fat, two large sticks of butter puts me into a slight frenzy (ie, "OMG, I'm going to be a lardass in the next five minutes. I'm going to bulge out of my pants and NEVER EVER fit into them again!!!") So, in my desperation to save my waistline, I decide that the *best* (note the sarcasm?) idea is to add extra flour. Oh, and more oatmeal too. So here I am with 1/4 cup more flour (so stupid idea) and 1/2 cup more oatmeal (not as stupid, but stupid). Let me tell you, extra flour makes it EXTREMELY hard to mix cookie dough (extra oatmeal doesn't help either, but I prefer to blame the flour). But I manage (giving self a huge blister at the same time) to mix it all together and make some cookies.
Well. They were supposed to be cookies. They uh...didn't melt in the oven. Actually, they didn't change shape AT ALL. What went in was what came out. I made some frankenstein variety of granola. Flour filled granola to be exact. And what's best? I have DOUBLE the amount of frankenstein granola than I usually would've made. And being the cheapass that I am? I'll prolly eat every single last one just b/c I don't want it all to go to waste.
Posted by szujin at 11:33 PM | Comments (2)
February 17, 2005
Abs
On Wednesdays, my favorite aerobics instructor in Pittsburgh teaches for two hours. This to me, is wonderful. She makes me want to work out, plus she has an awesome body, which is extraordinarily motivating for me. There is nothing less motivating then an aerobics instructor that at least looks more out of shape than me. Drives me boinkers. Plus, makes me want to slack.
But ANYWAY. So, in general, although this instructor has awesome abs, I usually don't feel too guilty if I bear my midriff (omg, did I just say midriff?) every once in a while if I am extraordinarily hot . And usually this is not a problem for me. However, yesterday, there was another girl (ie, not the instructor) who was doing so as well. And she had some serious abs of steel.
I have no idea who she was, I've never seen her before, but I think I went from zero to envy in like two seconds flat.
Now I want rock abs of steel. My flabby abs need to get some major workout on.
Posted by szujin at 09:49 AM | Comments (1)
February 14, 2005
WRITE ME. Just email me.
WRITE ME. Just email me.
The suspense is killing me.
Oh. And today, the bus that dropped me off? Decided to splash a gallon of dirty water on me. Yay!
Posted by szujin at 10:56 PM | Comments (2)
February 08, 2005
New and Exciting?
So I haven't posted in a while.
Nothing interesting has happened in my life recently. BUT, let's see what I can make of it:
1. Went skiing. Yoinked thumb. Appendable thumbs? Godsend. Without? Makes for chopping things, signing things, basically impossible.
2. Made gumbo. Ever heard of roux? Yeah, me either. Gumbo apparently uses this. Needless to say...small freak out on my part. But, all turned out well. Except for the chopping of the vegetables (read 1).
3. Went shopping. I am in lust with this bag. I want it like a crack addict misses his fix. (Dur? on the comparison?)
4. Going to Pamela's tomorrow. YAY for corned beef hash and greasy yummy chocolate banana hotcakes. Will feel like fatass for the rest of the day, but it's OK! :D
5. Searching like a crazy woman for an internship.
The End.
(Wow, that was one pointless entry. Heh)
Posted by szujin at 11:49 PM | Comments (1)