Bits and Pieces

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April 18, 2005

Stupid stupid stupid.

Today I did one of the brightest things that I think I could possibly do.

I left a porcelain plate filled with food on the stove.

Now *normally*, I suppose this is just "sort of" stupid, since you know, why the F*CK would any normal person put a plate on the stove? I mean DUH you cannot cook with a plate.

But of course, I am not as smart or logical as most people. And of course, because I am *never* at fault, I would like to blame my cluttered and limited counterspace for the porcelain plate to be on the stove.

Like I said, this would be fine and dandy since I KNEW that I was going to boil water in a pot (read: not the plate), and then put food in the pot. But of course, I am STUPID so I *accidentally* turned on the wrong burner. Not just ANY burner, the burner with the plate with the food on it.

Now...can anyone tell me what happens when said porcelain plate is placed near extraordinary heat? ...

It EXPLODES.

Wait, let me emphasize this a little bit more. It EXPLODES . I shit you not. Not a small crack and then we go on our merry way. That porcelain plate? With all my yummy food on it? SHATTERED INTO A MILLION PIECES. Porcelain shards in my food, on the stove, in the stove, on the ground. EVERYWHERE. There were porcelain shards all across the kitchen. It was NOT a beautiful sight. And NOT fun to clean.

Of course. I *did* learn a valuable lesson (trying to look on bright side of life). I learned that putting a plate on the stove is a BAD IDEA. Regardless if I *know* I am not going to use it to cook, but if I just happen to turn on the wrong stove (something I manage to do with frightening frequency), then I will have to contend with porcelain shards everywhere. And quite frankly, I think one time, is enough.

Posted by szujin at April 18, 2005 11:57 PM

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Posted by: BigCat at April 20, 2005 02:43 PM

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