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May 08, 2005
Paper not writing
Tomorrow is do or die for the paper. PA and I are going to decide if I have pulled enough crap out of my butt to make a decent analysis (my guess? no...). Seemed so far away when I thought that my analysis was complete. Too bad it was completely WRONG. So the last two days have been me desperately trying to rework my analysis while my PA tears apart the rest of my paper. Two days ago I was ok with him telling me I had verbal diahrrea. Yesterday, he told me my related works section was "irrelevant." The more stressed out he gets, the more blunt he gets, I tell you. He's gone to the "let me rewrite it for you" stage, and now all I feel is incredible debt and embarrassment. How much must the paper (ie, I) suck such that the advisor (and he's not even my advisor! *that* person is off on vacation already, dropping me like a bomb on my PA) feels the need to rewrite it? Especially when he a super duper busy person (in general). I can't help feeling like he must feel like he needs to "take care of me" and in a way that my advisor is *actually* supposed to do, and so now I just feel like i am this huge burden which he has to deal with. He has no obligation towards me, yet here is he is working his ass off for me. I just feel...embarrassed. The worst part of it all is that I guess I thought I had my paper mostly under control, but apparently I didn't.
Posted by szujin at May 8, 2005 03:49 AM