Bits and Pieces

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December 01, 2005

I turned down my first full-time offer (in a while). I feel so sad. Is that weird? Like, I feel *guilty* for saying no, like I disappointed the recruiter or something. There went my opportunity to go to NYC. S'ok though...I didn't want to be cold anyway. And I did *not* want to be "changing formulas in an Excel spreadsheet" *shrudder*.

So...now. More decisions. Gosh...sometimes I am such a money whore. Shouldn't I be better than that by now? But I dunno, 20k difference is hard to justify no matter how I look at it. I *AM* a money whore.

Sometimes I think I idealize things that I do not have. I find myself in a state I know that I shouldn't be in, but I can't help it. For example, this consulting gig. This is what I wanted. I *wanted* it. I like SUPER DUPER, "omg, please please please" wanted to have it. Well...I got it. But the pay is *so* low (and they don't move) that I just can't...justify it..... PLUS. When I did my consulting gig from my internship way back then it wasn't all that it cracked out to be (that was also a "please please please" scenario that I jumped on the boat right away when offered). So...WHY I am so like, "want want want" when in actuality, the past experience I had wasn't spectacular? Is it because it is totally different than what I do now? Or that in my brain the idealized version of consulting has just warped my views. Maybe it's the required business casual dress everyday. ARGH.

Ok. HAVE TO DECIDE.

Posted by szujin at December 1, 2005 03:45 PM

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Posted by: vade at December 10, 2005 08:12 PM

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